The poor little creature that I am, I walked in the rain and soaked myself wet in an effort to shake some sense into my head.
Losing control is one of the biggest tests a person has to face, when the situation has taken the best of you, no matter how hard you try to hang on, even if you persevere and hope for better days. To be vulnerable and trusting gives other people a right to hurt you, and abuse you. It is a moment of weakness where you don't know who to turn to in fear that they might judge you, you don't know where to go to in fear of looking like a fool. Instead, you retreat to your little shell and accept that yes, you're weak.
When do you feel you've had enough?
When life seems to be a constant struggle, and forces around you try to manipulate you, even if you give your all. When life feels like a series of traps and limitations, of insecurities and mistrust, of feeling alone even when you're with people. When compromise is too much, and you have to give up a lot to keep up to the demands of those connected to you. Even the people you love take away sanity, your identity, yourself. Where do you stop? What do you do?
My walk in the rain gave me time for myself, to breathe, to cry, to distance myself away from the rest of it all.
And I cannot be more sorry to the baby inside of me, saying, Mommy, I love you.
I have been a student in UP for 4 academic (6 actual) years now. And every year the UAAP season is an occasion where students gets in the "school spirit" and head to Araneta to cheer and yell and do all sorts of chants. At the end of the day, we don't make it even to semis. And folks would say: okay lang kahit talo, katuwaan lang ("well, there's nothing we can do about it, at least we had fun") This really is effective in dampening my hopes, killing the enthusiasm and the "I'm looking forward to see the game" feeling. I know UP's great with everything else but Pinas being a basketball country makes a big fuss about UP not making it in basketball in 23 years (since the '86 time of Benjie Paras).
Somehow I've been thinking, maybe we should do what the other universities have been doing all along, pick someone really, really good, yung walang ginawa kundi maglaro ng basketball, have these guys focus on ball and ball alone, then they'll get drafted, and earn lots of money more than any other college graduate could earn in their lifetimes. Then instead of learning stuff like bio, philo, art stud, they should be having financial management, entrepreneurship, or what have you in their course itenerary so all the money won't just evaporate.
Let's be realistic, nowadays, doctors don't earn as much, or teachers or biologists or what have you. It's the rockstars, the basketball players, the pop stars. Of course I would like to have one of my sons become a doctor, so I don't have to worry about enormous professional fees when I'm old and arthritic and with a fatty heart.
Ideya lang naman.
Ganyan nga, tumalikod na lang kayo...I swear, I'll never ever entertain cheap, oh, wait a minute, CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP circuses that has anything to do with the scheming Lolit Solis. What a vile, evil woman... Wisdom doesn't come with age on her case.
Wahahaha.
That's all.
The media continues to feast on the the Katrina-Hayden scandal and is predicted to persist for the next 2-3 weeks. The public's lust for scandalous liasons has made the celebrated case a definite newsmaker for 2009. Katrina Halili, a symbol of the modern Filipina boldstar-- bold, fearless, liberated. The face of endless almost nude and soft porn material (don't tell me it's art) with no particularly known advocacy or other interests. Not so much on the brain department, but smart enough to know she'll make more money by turning sexy. Many say she's a victim, and no matter what she is, she's a woman and she has rights.
Now when her so called "rights" were trampled upon, she goes teary eyed and begging the world saying that "May anak po kayo, may mga kapatid po kayo," but a lot of people believe she gave that up when she started her hostess-like existence. I wonder if she's contradicting herself by appealing for respect when she pretty much don't have much for herself. What does she expect? Practically some men get turned on by what she sells (herself) and do jack and poy over her photos and movies. Pera pera lang yan, di ba? She pretty much asked for what happened to her.
A man, regardless if he's a regular jock or a socialite, must have something that can be a real turn-on. Any man could get his kick from seeing female underwear, or high heels, or fire exits, or sneaking away with another man's wife. Hayden, having money, has access to a decent videocam, and I'm pretty sure if everybody has a cam then once in your life you would have one of those petty little sex videos. And he gets his kick from watching former experiences. Sino tayo para makialam sa trip nya? It's just so unfortunate that it fell to the wrong hands.
What do you feel about this whole charade?
Let me be good to my word as "President" Gloria Arroyo's detractor, the most unpopular president in Philippine history. She really delivers in taking her unpopularity to the next level. Today I learned that she is yet to release another high-profile convict, Rolito Go, convicted of killing a man over a road rage incident in Greenhills. Eldon Maguan was driving the one-way section of Wilson St after buying pizza to bring home to his family when Go's car went out of the old Craving's restaurant and started driving the wrong way.
It's interesting to see what money can do. On the onset of this case, most has been done to coverup for Go, from the blotter in Isabela that he lost his 9mm Sig Sau pistol. He escaped prison shortly after his conviction. When he got caught in Lubao, Pampanga, two years later, Go to bribe Supt. Roberto Damian and Supt. Jojie Cruz of the PNP Traffic Management Group, but the media's thirst for blood would have not made it possible. Now, when the fuzz has died down, the timing is just perfect for fairy godmother to grant little Rolito his freedom back.
15 years later, and 2 Presidents later, he's finally getting through to the rotting walls of Malacanang in his plea for executive clemency. Yup you got it, executive clemency, it's like the highest form of pardon straight from the throne of the highest position holder in the Banana Republic of the Philippines. Yup, she's letting him walk just like that.
According to his lawyer, who wrote in an article found here that he has been an exceptional prisoner, and has helped fellow inmates make a living, yada yada yada. And I don't believe a word this guy's saying. Spare us from your speech, of course you're his lawyer, your job is to defend him right? Sorry, I dont buy it.
I bet he's nearly wetting his pants in anticipation of his literal "Independence Day" on June 12.
There are the lucky ones got it all figured out. They know what they want out of life and find purpose and happiness in what they're doing. Most of the time they're content, like well-fed kittens.
Then there are the ones who lie awake at night, lying still yet getting all worked up with anxiety.
Are you one of those who believe that as long as you're passionate about what you're doing, the money will follow.. or do you think that you need to have the money first for you to pursue your passion? How long can you last doing something you like but make less than you should?
Let me know your thoughts.
I thought piracy exists only in the streets of Quiapo, copy-cats of original movies or albums or even workout videos. But viola! Our very own President Gloria Arroyo at her attempt of being popular to the middle-class professionals lined up the counters of a McDonald's branch in Makati. Perhaps she chose McDo because it's less stress to be there, Jollibee would be a little too much to handle. The sweaty lower class would also be in Jollibee. Or maybe because McDo offers a nice view of the Paseo Park while Jollibee is so dense she could get shot and nobody can tell who did it. I love Gloria (irony) and I thank her (im lying) for reaching out to us call center agents and hear what we have to say about the awful commute because of working at night and the diseases we get from a weakened immune system. I wish she invited me. I would have said, "Madam, you know what, what I really want to do is replace you." If she answers "I don't think you're up for the task. You're just a pathetic little call center agent." So bitches be bitches, I would say, "And you're just a pathetic little President." And if Gloria says, "Oh yeah, you're not even a college graduate." And I would say, "Wait till I get my degree and I'll shove my diploma up your midget ass." Hahaha talk about bad-mouthing the President, and then we'd do our catfight and of course I'll win being a bigger girl. I get wet just thinking about it.
Oh I love you, Gloria.
Katrina, that poor little girl needs much counseling. Coming out of a dysfunctional home, she used what she had to make it. With no supportive family, she turns to men, and and men, who constantly validates her as beautiful. She's one gutsy. rebellious girl, and showbiz is the next best thing (that falls short to prostitution). Any stare from any guy must have felt like she was being lusted for, and she shies up, but deep inside that makes her feel beautiful even more. I bet there's a lot of things she's not so proud about, such as alleged "invitations" to come to one prestigious resort whenever Mikey A. asks for her services.
Now when these two colorful, flawed characters get together, that's absolute disaster.
Enter the most virtuous of Senators. Senator Bong Revilla, Jr. Hooray! Some cheap showbiz scandal has just won a seat in the Philippine SENATE. My God. (Senate and media has something in common -- being pathetic!) I'm gonna kill myself now. He specifically said that this violation of women should be stopped, that Hayden should be revoked of his medical liscence yada yada yada. For the love of Jesus, Bong Revilla. And his father Ramon Revilla. Let's not start!!! Remember, Lani Mercado, Gretchen Barretto, Ruffa Mae Quinto, Jennilyn Mercado, does that ring a bell?
And the story even becomes more interesting. Now that Dr. Vicky and Hayden are back together, how will she handle something she has just gotten over with, and is fresh as a lettuce in the public's eye, without looking like a desperate woman clinging to an philandering lover. All the money in the world and she cannot buy a man to be faithful.
Let's see where this goes. For the meantime, let's rethink our priorities as citizens and see where all our taxes are going.
I simply loved, loved this movie. Iyak-tawa talaga ako dito. Before watching it, I didn't have no clue as to what the film is about, my hubby just asked me if I wanted to see it because he heard from the office that it's really good, and that it stars Roderick Paulate, Dick Israel and Manilyn Reynes. Being a big fan of Kuya Dick and Dick Israel, we went! And I enjoyed it more than X-Men Origins, which we also saw on the same day. (It was Mothers' Day, by the way.) I was just laughing my guts out and cryin like a baby (I dunno if it's just my hormones speaking, but boy Elizabeth Oropesa made me cry). And the part where Roderick was crying "Iniwan na tayo isa-isa... Ulila na tayo" naiyak talaga ako. But the most bongga part of watching it is the never-ending himatayan scenes! Hahaha! Nakakaloka talaga! The cast is crazy-- all of them are so talented! Ang galing! They should be in more films. Lalo na si Kuya Dick, nakakamiss!!! All of them are so good. Watching the movie is so worth it to have spent my Mother's Day to.
Im so excited about the David Archuleta and David Cook concert tomorrow!! :) (Well, Im honestly more excited about David Archuleta-- I think he's adorable and he's got the voice of an angel. Ay ang cute cute talaga!) Cant wait!
Magellan disproved this theory. But is it really? The internet made the world flat. We have digital tribes. Virtual real estate. It is a place where the sharing of information is not prejudiced, there is a future that dictates itself by real people with real lives. A second life. The trend is perpetually changing. Behind the text and the codes are people, real people working. I’ve come to realize that with what we see, the constant development of knowledge, collaboration and the effects on the economy. I am beginning to understand that this age, where we are, is unique and great. A good part of my day is spent with my virtual community, an intellectually simulating, fake, virtual world. I miss the days when I led a real life. I miss the days when the sun means it's day, and the moon means it's night.
I miss the days when the world is round.
Reposting from an old blog from 2 years ago...
I’m 21 years old. An undecided 21-year old. I’ve come to this age when I should pretty much have an idea of what career I want to pursue yet I am still unsure of the path I should take. I look around me and see plenty of opportunity. But which one fits just right? Did I do right by steering away from theatre into a more financially lucrative IT career? Did I make it all more complicated by choosing to build a family this early? Would I trade hours with my little boy with being a working mom? Can I spare months of possibly working overseas with not seeing my much-loved bf-husband? Is money and career all really that important anyway, when you die the next day and lose it all? Do I get married? Civil or church? Do I go back to school? Should I entrust my son with a yaya? How do I lose all my maternity weight? How do I save money? Why can’t I just go to the beach when I want to?
What do I really want?
For one, I can’t stand nights without my husband. Nights without s*x will be friggin hard! I want to be able to handle my own time, or if not, I can stand a boss as long as I’m paid like a flight stewardess. I’m actually considering that, minus the excess weight. I would like to get paid for writing, not because I’m good at writing, but because I know I have something I’m good at to write about. I would like to teach my son how to be a good person. He will be able to feel free and confident that he can take on the world. I want to love Ed forever.
I like making projects, especially ones I make with my hands and eyes. I have a bit of being a crafts-person in me, of course Haydee, my FA major bestfriend, is always better than me. I like cooking. Ed never quite understood why I love to eat and cook, and discover flavors and dining-places, stopping by food carts and street food. I love make-up, I feel confident and beautiful in them, not in a superficial way, but in a genuine way. I have no hate about being pretty. Or people may hate me because they find me pretty. (Oh I remember someone.)
One thing, I want to be in a movie before I die. I mean ANY movie. You don’t even have to pay me.
At hanggang ngayon nandito pa rin ako.
Except I got married, dalawa na anak ko (and another on the way), bumalik na ako ng school (shit, isang subject na lang di pa matapos!)
There was a time when I thought it wasnt at all possible to be in love. Hell, I dated like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to learn so much about men I decided to be the guinea pig for my own experiment. So from that I did know that there are indeed different types of men, and what makes them so special is their differences, their uniqueness, their social habitat, at times you may encounter someone of a different culture and race, and another intriguing part is why every man is different for his job (or maybe lack of one). I thought too, if I had acted differently, would I get the same response, do I still look ravishing or ravished by changing how I act towards them. Men, they’re exciting subjects. I was so experimental at that, I wanted variety, I wanted challenges. I aimed for standards. Or maybe expected nothing sometimes. If I get lucky I get good guys, but more than half the time it’s jerks.
So women like me who, unluckily, get the bad portion of the male populace have their own version of defence mechanism, which kind of works as comfort food, and that is called "I don’t believe in love..," "I don’t believe in love ANYMORE….," "Men are simply headaches….," "It’s a waste of my time…," etcetera etcetera.. and the list just goes on and on.. But really now, who are you fooling? Remember what Alex Hitchens said, "Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time
for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I’m really into my career right now." That’s an awful lot of excuse trying to mask yourself as a cynic but deep inside an optimist. It irritates me when I hear women say these, instead of just letting themselves go and not be afraid of loving and getting hurt in the process. Well, there is such a thing as you simply don’t like the guy, but that’s another story.
So if fear of hurting is the root of the problem of all this hard love race, then we can come up with a solution on how to prevent the hurt by studying and learning more about the male species.
Since the beginning of time Cinderella has been helping little girls create a picture of the perfect mate. Girls, let us first understand that in order to get that Prince Charming, you should be something like the Cinderella at the Ball. Please don’t get the illusion that if you don’t like being pretty or as much neat and presentable, you’d snag Prince Charming. Being able to take care of yourself, making the most of your assets and basically improving physically, emotionally and financially as a person is the most attractive thing. Who would want an insecure, ignorant, rude, unkind, ugly, dirty, poor and tactless woman? What did God bless us for if not for finesse of body and spirit? Simply put, if I were a man, wouldn’t it be great to be single that to live with a walking suffering like that? So think about it, the rule of the thumb is becoming CINDERELLA: good heart, pretty, healthy and irresistible.
The men of today, I should say are visual animals. They are typically enticed to FHM-like females. Bagging one, dating one or simply being seen with one is a prize on itself. Now this is firmly associated with the subconscious attitude of making the fantastic promises of porn a reality. They are bravely lured into an FHM-like woman. Or okay, just to give the boys a break, you like confident, smart women, who appear sexy without parading in a bikini, and would love ones in tight hugging pants and plunging necklines? Aww, don't say that isn't a plus! Who wouldn’t want a lover-whore-saint-mama for a wife?
So since we all like to love and hate to lose, how do you manage risk? How do we discern failures from potentials? How do you choose?
So to the men reading this, if what I’m gonna say strikes a chord, then
maybe I’m right with my universal interpretation of men. Biased it may
seem, but then maybe you can make your own interpretation of women.
Let’s see if anyone can rise up to the challenge.
Lets first define the ideal man:
Rich, Handsome and an Animal in Bed
Those three ingredients alone would qualify a guy in a Mills and Boon romance pocketbook. It’s so simple you it will take you half a minute to remember it.
Reality Check: Hindi ito nag eexist!
Reality Check Ulit: Mahirap maging FHM material pag nanay ka na. Hindi lahat ng babae parang si Heidi Klum aka Bionic Woman
Refreshing talaga to see how naive I was 2-3 years ago!!!
I watched T2 by Chito Rono on its opening night in SM Megamall. Pinilit ko pa ang asawa ko na manood, though ang gusto na lang sana nya eh ulitin ang Fast and Furious or Slumdog Millionaire na lang, pero mapilit talaga ako, nagmaganda pa ko, sabi ko, "Sige okay lang, uwi ka na? Akala mo ba di ko kaya manood ng mag-isa?" Walang nagawa ang kawawang hubby, pasok kami sa T2, lipad ang 320 ko, at least may paguusapan tayo today, my dear readers.
It was interesting, yet hardly scary. In this movie we find Claire (Maricel Soriano), a woman struggling with her marriage, who also works as a volunteer in an orphanage (being an orphan herself). On her way coming back from Samar, she and another volunteer Elias (Eric Fructuoso) started witnessing bizarre situations that led to her meeting Angeli, an odd, awkward little orphan who needs to be transported back to her surviving relatives in Manila. Little did they know, Angeli, a daughter of a man and an enkanto, is about to be taken by her engkanto mom before her 9th birthday, which is 2 days from when the movie begins. Watching T2 brought back memories of a previous trip to Sorsogon.
Medyo nadisappoint ako sa T2, for a couple of reasons. I didn't find it as scary as the initial Chito 'Rono scary movies. Not because mas matanda na ko as compared to when I watched Feng Sui and Sukob, because Sukob is fairly recent movie of 2 years past, and I was 21 at the time na. I mean I was too old to get scared but boy that movie got me screaming to my wits. I came to the movie house prepared to scream, hahaha! Kinulang talaga sa panakot factor tong T2.
Ang bagal ng pacing ng movie, super nag aantay ako na matakot, wala pa din. Parang big-screen version lang ng midnight DJ or ng kakakabakaba. Savior talaga ang Diamond Star Maricel Soriano otherwise, the movie would have sucked. Nag-iisa talaga si Maricel Soriano sa pag eemote and perfection ng realistic acting nyo on top of all the trivial, supernatural events happening to her, as in parang part na ng buhay natin ang maengkanto paminsan-minsan. She clutched at cellphone like it's the only thing that would rescue her back to reality, perfect ka talaga Maria!
Hm, I think I'm being too harsh. In fairness, na-entertain naman ako ng husto sa movie, it was freaking hilarious. Nagsitilian ang mga tao hindi dahil sa engkanto, kundi naengkanto sila ni John Lloyd Cruz. Si Papa Lloydie ang gumanap na papa ni Angeli sa movie na inasawa ng engkanto na si Carmen Soo. Nagsitilian ang mga puday ng makita si John Lloyd. Kaya naman ako natawa is because John Lloyd pulled a Willie Garte look, bulag and with a mess of a wig (man, can't the costumes people do any better?) Anyways Papa Lloydie I love you...
And speaking of Carmen Soo, on the way to the moviehouse my husband and I passed by her Petit Monde ad and nasabi ko lang out of the blue, "Ang ganda talaga ng face ni Carmen Soo, noh?" To which my husband asked, "Nasan na kaya sya ngayon, nandito pa ba sya sa Pinas?" and I said, "Oo nga eh, medyo konti lang projects nya ngayon, baka bumalik na ng Malaysia..." And there she was, on the silver screen, nakaputi, maputla at mahaba ang buhok. Parang kami ang inengkanto ni Carmen Soo kasi pinaguusapan lang namin sya kanina, kaya heto in your face I'm still alive and kicking, you guys!
Making a comeback is Camille Pratts na hindi ko na-gets ang costume (again calling the costume designer) na ang makeup nya eh super flawless na parang may photoshoot, and naturally bata pa siya, I just don't get bakit kailangang patandain ang kawawang Camille! Sabihin man nating dapat matanda ang role ni Camille, kaya sya pinagsuot ng baro't saya na hanggang sakong at pinagsuot ng super thick eyeglasses. Wala talagang makakajustify nito, Camille Pratts, nabiktima ka talaga. And ang role nya is modista, hello, modista sya sa FTI Tenement, hindi sa probinsya. Asar! Anyways I'm happy you're back Camille, keep it up!
Also making a comeback is Tetchie Agbayani, who is less glamourous in this movie, playing the role of an old neighbor in Tenement 2, who herself gave birth to a half-mortal, half-enkanto, ngunit sumama sa hindi natin kauri. Isa ring nagbabalik ay si Eric Fructuoso, na effective sa role nya as a less-fortunate grown-up orphan, in short, gagong loser. Though medyo masakit lang sa tenga ang repeating expression nya na "nakamput" (as in I had a headache) eh naaliw naman ako sa line nya na "Kahit gago ako, marunong naman ako mag-alala sa mga tao sa paligid ko." Winner!
At hindi din nagpahuli si Derek Ramsay, in fairness juicy pa rin sya at kung ako ang nasa role ng asawa nya siguro may sarili na kaming orphanage sa dami ng anak namin dahil ang juicy juicy nya! Yum!
The little girl who played the role of Angeli doesn't seem to have this genuine shock in her, babaw pa rin ng acting, but with time I think she'd make a fine young actress... Commendable naman ang skill nya to tell her lines clearly and convincingly. I'm sure sikat na sikat sya sa school nila ngayon at pinagmamalaki sya ng buong kamag-anakan nila, thanks to T2.
At ang ever-present na hindi talaga mawawala sa Chito Rono sequels ay si Mon Confiado. Nagtransform sya into a CGI Gollum-like entity, na after pumasok as a night crawler, naging baboy and then Max Payne humanoid with wings. Patili na sana ako nung susunggaban na sana si Maria, kaso bakit hindi nyo pinasunggaban si Maria! Mukhang ayaw nyo talaga madungisan ang beauty ng diamond star!
Anyways after this post I realized na regardless if I watched Slumdog or whathaveyou that day, I'd still come back and watch T2, hanggang mawala na ang curiousity ko. So kahit balikan ko pa ang mga nagyari, I think ganun din ang ending.
With this issue being close to my heart, I would like to comment about what appealed to me as the atmosphere in class going PRO on legalizing prostitution. Let this be my way of reacting to Sir Cardenas's statement, "I expected more from you, you are UP students, you should know better," and went on to explain, from how I understood it, was that the class voted the winning team according to what they personally believe in rather than as an arguable beneficial thing.
I voted for the Anti-Prostitution side because I didn't need an explosive oration to tell me what a simple truth is from a distorted point of view. I looked back at personal experiences to help me decide that the arguments are sound enough to tell me between a right and wrong, regardless if it's a belief that society just made up on its own. I made a judgment call based on what I know to be more harmful that good.
The pain, trauma and financial drawbacks it can bring to a family, is simply not worth the bruhaha of going to a massage parlor and get a quick sex fix. Having a lifetime with herpes is not a joyride, either. So what if you're lonely, so what if you're not getting it from your husband or your wife. You ought to protect yourself, and help others protect themselves by not engaging in a high-risk activity like this, which provokes underage prostitution, increases the likelihood of abuse and human trafficking, and degrades the morale of women and men in prostitution, causing them a lifetime of trauma, guilt and despair.
Temporary cash in exchange of a life lived with what sort of purpose? Grinding, pumping, giving head? Telling your grandchildren, "Yes, sweetheart, I was a great prostitute back in the time, and boy was it great. Such a great legacy to live by." Plus, the fact of the matter is, most of the men and women in prostitution are such poor financial planners. We cannot dismiss these as a part of the so-called benefits of legalizing prostitution, looking at just the potential goods of it is refusing to acknowledge how it backstabs lives. You don't just sidetrack the human element in hopes of finding a workable solution because even if it's workable, it's not a brilliant idea.
I voted for Joenil Confreros because he drove the point home, and he made quite a pretty stirring speech, but I'm not sold on it. He went on to explain his point that went something like, hey, since it's here, has been for hundreds of years, and here to stay, let's stop keeping it taboo and protect women and men in prostitution. Let's stop treating them like criminals, always running from the law. Let's give them a fair treatment just like our laborers, working for money, in hopes of getting food on the table or sending family members to college and all that crap. Salute to the bravery of these people we're getting revenue from taxes and tourism which gives our economy an extra umph! It's like saying, "Wow, Miss ang laki ng ITR mo, ah. Ibig sabihin ang dami mong customers. Wow, ang galing!" "Ay oo, actually, naibili na nga ako ni Mayor/Doctor/Businessman/FG ng Everest." Now don't ask me if that's a good or a bad thing.
Let's go ahead and give them a heads up to stand in the street, or if that's not allowed, in Jollibee-like drive throughs in our community, clad in boob-revealing see-throughs and pekpek shorts, ask us, "Hi, Pogi, gusto mo ba ng goodtime? Magaling ako sa deep throat, baka gusto mo lang i-try..." Or we can also look at it like a woman like me drive up to Adonis or Manhunt and pick up the guy with the biggest member, who also has the most likelihood of multiple sexual relationships, which will put me at high risk of STDs and VDs. (Uh-uh, not even a condom can help genital herpes and pubic lice.)
Simple logic would tell me to not support prostitution.
Peace.
Word count: 674
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Hilaw.
This is how I would describe the effect of the current mode of instruction on young learners. Instead of encouraging a learning on a two-way street, it causes our classrooms to have more idiot, clueless, passive students. Jacks of all trades, masters of none. Getting by, but not truly there. Mechanical, forced to sit and be silent and left to copy what's written on the manila paper on the blackboard. The average young Juan needs his learning competencies improved, and the simplest, yet most overlooked factor that offers a more proactive and effective learning can be found right at home. Our leaders and lawmakers still believe that an alien language, English, is the superior language to use in the classrooms, yet majority of our young students come from homes where the mother tongue is the predominant language. This is why some children can be tagged as slow, aren't too bright, or yes, an idiot.
Let me tell you a little story. I grew up being talked to in both Filipino and a lot of code-switching, which thus made it easy for me to adjust to learn English. I also studied in a private school from my pre-school to Grade 4, and moved to a public elementary school for my Grade 5 and 6, and boy was it a shocker. I was one of the brightest people in class, simply because I picked up better than they do when my teacher discusses in English.
It is a sad truth, that many times have I witnessed classmates get low marks simply because they're just sitting there, staring, silent, listening but not understanding a thing of what the teacher is saying. In effect, my teacher would often lose her temper, go crazy and be indifferent, and say that these kids are just unbelievable (I swear she could've thought our class was hopeless.) And when the teacher isn't around, the timid, silent students become the total opposites of themselves while in a graded recitation. That class had so much potential.
The scenario was, after enrolling in a public high school, I was in the star section, while my less-fluent classmates joined the 29 other lower sections, where not much is expected of you, just keep a complete attendance and you'll graduate. I observed that most of these students in the lower sections couldn't care less about their subjects, and easily settle for a mediocre classroom performance.
The Philippines has 170 languages scattered all over the archipelago. Languages that vary even in small distances, as for example, the small island of Panay, where six major languages, Ilonggo, Aklanon, Kinaray-a, Capiznon, Hiligaynon and Tagalog are spoken by locals who live only an hour away from each other, as well as minor languages like Malaynon and Inati can be found at tips of towns and borders. It seems that our country is a vast, endless array of a people speaking different languages, so where do we begin at making sure that young Filipinos get the most out of learning, without being intimidated by a language not spoken at home?
This need for a common mode of instruction called for two bills, the Gunigundo and Gullas Bills, respectively also known as the Multilingual Bill (mother tongue-based multilingual education or MLE) and the English-Only Bill. The Multilingual Bill calls for a child's first language to be the primary mode of instruction from pre-school to grade six, for it to be taught as a separate subject in elementary, while the English-Only Bill aims to use the Mother-tongue as MOI up to Grade 3, and ban the use of the Language 1 (mother tongue) thereafter.
Countless countries has used the mother tongue-based multilingual education or MLE, and has proven to be the best language of learning, especially in the early grades. The first language or L1 is defined by UNESCO as the language that a person has learned first, identifies with or is identified with as a native speaker of by others, knows best and uses most. Using the L1 develops a strong foundation in their L1, and are gradually introduced to the official languages, Filipino and English, as separate subjects. When the Filipino child reaches high school, s(he) would have gained proficiency to use Filipino and English as the primary MOI.
By taking away a language that signifies a person's cultural heritage and identity, we dismiss that a local language is inadequate and inferior. Conclusively, we insist to teach in English, which is more costly and inefficient, a language that doesn't carry out functional literacy and hardly encourages critical thinking and offers a mediocre level of thinking.
In other words, the English-only Bill benefits only those who speak English at home who aren't struggling to learn, while those who struggle get poor performance and high drop-out and fail rates. The marginalized learners, in effect, withdraw from opportunities to speak up and participate, to be active, to understand concepts at a most uncomplicated, comfortable method. Cognitively, our young learners easily develops skills and master subjects when they are taught in the L1.
We don't need more English. We don't need to concentrate on the language, what we need to focus on is literacy, Science and Math. We use English as a global language, to belong in the present. But we need our own language to live forevermore.
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